Shining-Ruse

i hide behind broken smiles and guilty whispers drunk 4am text messages and my soul written in ink crumpled sheets tucked away in shoe boxes and under floorboards therapy sessions and 2am i love you's

Did you know, for seven minutes after you die your mind keeps on working. Your brain functions for four-hundred-and-twenty seconds as if you never died at all. You may not even remember what killed you, but for seven minutes you live on in your head, almost like it's the most realistic dream you've ever experienced; but like a dream, you cannot feel pain. Pain, is what lets us know we're alive.

I was at school. It was raining–we weren't supposed to go outside when it rained. With my hand pressed against the glass, I could feel the vibrations as the droplets hit the window. "Why do you sit there when it rains?" said a small voice behind me, it sounded the way I imagined the ants did. I didn't reply, maybe if I stayed silent the voice would go away. "Well? Why do you sit there when it rains?" "Because I like to think that at least one person will remember me when I wash away, like I remember the rain when it's gone too." -- So every time it rained he sat with me by that window. We coexisted in silence, as we watched the rai

I used to pretend I was a princess, and my backyard was my kingdom. Pretending was easier than reality, and the loneliness went away sometimes. I would always command the ants in a childish way, and pout by the pond when they did not do as they were told. They would march in the same line every day, always reaching farther than I dared go: out past the rickety wooden fence that marked the end of my domain. We coexisted, the ants and I; with a command that was ignored and a careful foot placement to avoid taking a small life, thriving under cloudy days and rustling leaves. They were always there, marching, till one day after it rained, and t